Can You Tell Me How to Get...

um.. ok. I guess I don't need to know after all... (I always knew those Sesame Street dudes weren't as sweet as we thought.)

Seems some more of Wahwer's emotional innocence has been thrown under the bus. I've been in a bit of a funk lately over the rank deception that people commit when they say one thing in public but act another way when they think they're out of the spotlight.

I get so tired of people putting on pleasant, smarmy faces for the world, trying to fool the public into thinking that they're at the foot of the cross. In reality, they are nothing but whited sepulchers. Bastards. I have no use for people who want to perpetrate the myth that they are loving, generous, self-sacrificing and benevolent, when all evidence supports the contrary.

I simply don't have the energy to maintain a false front. I barely have the strength to be real and stick to my own path. How do people do it? I'm lucky to go to work, meet my obligations, help my family & try to have some semblance of a life. Where do these socio-paths find the drive to live what amounts to a double life? The Enquirer, the Insider, all those scandal shows and magazines-- their stock in trade is touting the "shocking" stories of people who maintain separate lives apart from their acknowledged spouses / families. The sad truth is that these stories exist all around us and aren't really that unusual at all...

The Flip Side: Even while I would like to assume a place on the moral highground, it seems to be human nature that we frail creatures are born to deceive. I was chatting with my mom the other day, and she passed along a compliment that a friend had given her about me. "She said you were the nicest, sweetest girl..." Then she went on to say that people were telling her all the time how much they like / love me and how delightful I am. Then she turned and said smoothly, "How'd you manage to fool so many of them?"

In passing: Whenever I run spellcheck on an entry pre-post, and I have spoken self referentially, it offers the word "whore's" as a substitute for "Wahwer's." Coincidence? I wonder. This Blogging has a whore's allure at times... I dangle my personal thoughts and emotions out on the internet, partly to satisfy my inner exhibitionist & partly to elicit comments from virtual strangers, with only feedback as payment for my efforts.

Oh dear.. this thread could go in a whole different direction than the one I thought to tackle today. Remind me to come back to my harlot tendencies on a different day.