Have you ever been...

...thrown under a (metaphoric) bus?
Well I have-- it ain't pretty.

But I don't want sympathy.
Flat people have no need of sympathy...
They need revenge.

R-E-V-E-N-G-E spelled in capitol letters.

What I want from my readership are suggestions. What are some of the best "revenge moments" you've experienced? I don't know what prize I'll offer to the best story-- maybe a chance to guest-blog for me (NOTE: that is something NO ONE has gotten to do since this blog was born).

In theory, the revenge story winner would be like my baby's very first baby-sitter. I'm sure there are some utterly competent care-givers amongst you... Of course, it might be the most twisted revenge story to which I am drawn, so there's a good chance I will be handing my baby into the arms of a sadist. That has its own appeal as well.

You have your orders: send me your best revenge story (l_e_stewart@hotmail.com). I can guarantee anonymity (if so desired), but I can't prevent prosecution if the story hits law enforcement circles and gets traced back to moi. Contest deadline 11/17/06

So, let me hear it, people... As for me, I'm heading out in search of the only OTHER known antidote to a metaphoric flattening: booze.