Holy Busy-ness, Batman!

Well, I posted a lame joke post exactly two weeks ago with the promise

that I wouldn't post until I had something witty to say...

Um... I got this (lame) joke from a friend today.

I'm breaking my own rule about regurgitating e-mail jokes

in lieu of original stuff, but for now this is all you're gonna get, 'k?"

Ole and Sven were on a high school spring break vacation at the beach inFlorida, but they weren't having any luck with any of the girls. So they asked the local lifeguard for some advice.

"Man, it's obvious," says the lifeguard. "You're wearing them old, baggy Minnesota-style swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya. . . you'll have all the babes ya want!"

The following day, they hit the beach with their spanking new tight Speedos and their fist-sized potatoes. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as they walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing... looking sick! So they went back to the lifeguard again and Sven asked him "Vat's wrong now? Ve still don't haff no luck picking up da babes."
"JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard. "The potato goes in front!"

TGIF Moldy Oldies

In lieu of intelligent ramblings from yours truly, just enjoy the following thought provokers below-- and don't blame me if you've heard them before... they STILL make me chuckle ~

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! ... aren't they???

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?