Still Trapped...

... in telephony time warp.

Until I get regular connectivity (NOTE: I hate being "irregular"), I won't be posting much.
I promise to do better ASAP :-)

10 Facts About Me

I found this on Sharon's site... Her "facts" got me giggling-- MINE had me in hysterics!

Follow the link at the end to get your own list of Ten Top Trivia Tips :-)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Laura!

1. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Laura fighting underground!
2. Early thermometers were filled with Laura instead of mercury.
3. If you put a drop of liquor on Laura, she will go mad and sting herself to death!
4. Laura is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!
5. Ostriches stick their heads in Laura not to hide but to look for water!
6. Laura can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee!
7. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Laura!
8. About one tenth of Laura is permanently covered in ice.
9. Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Laura.
10. Peanuts and Laura are beans!

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl" method="get" style="background-color:#5F5F42;color:#CFCF95;padding:4px;text-align:center">I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Three of these things Belong Together

NOTE: Whether you have already read this post or not, make sure you go read this post on Melonie's site to find out how this day ended...

Allright... I might be dating myself as a child of the seventies... but I'm asking my readership to raise their hand (cause I really CAN see you doing it) if you recall the segment on the childrens' show Sesame Street where they would sing:

Three of these things belong together..
Three of these things are kind of the same.
But ONE of these things is is going his/her own way--
Now it's time to play our game-- it's time to play our game!!!!

For background purposes, I'll share the fact that I regularly take on "house-sitting" jobs to supplement my paltry income, and that for the past four days I have been taking care of two houses simultaneously. One of the two jobs was coming to a close this morning, as the homeowner was flying home today, so I was looking forward to only having to take care of the remaining house tonight. My first mistake was letting my guard down...

The alarm went off at 6:15 (allowing for the prerequisite 2 rounds of alarm-tag before rising at 6:30), and I was delighted to find that I actually felt well-rested and I wasn't hunched into a question-mark stance by back pain (which I am most mornings, especially at this home because this particular mattress was produced by Satan Posturepedic). I toddled into the bathroom to begin my morning ablutions, smiling smugly at my ferocious case of bed-head, and looking forward to a first cup of coffee. Things progressed normally-- that is, until I attempted to flush the commode. My second mistake was assuming that the plumbing would respond in a predictable manner. But no... Within seconds my bare feet were being doused with cold toity water, punctuated by blobs of soggy paper. F**K!!!!! Once I'd turned off the waterline to stop the flood, I grabbed four fluffy towels (which were laying conveniently nearby), and quickly mopped up the flotsam and jetsam. I wrapped the sodden cloths in a fifth towel, finished throwing yesterday's clothes back on, and went to wake the homeowner's teenage son on schedule at 6:45. Then I threw the towels (white, of course) in the washer as I headed out the door, now knowing that I would have to stop back at lunch time to throw them in the dryer so the homeowner wouldn't be to-o-o-o-o annoyed.

THEN, I jumped in my car to run off to the other house-sitting job. Mistake number three was forgetting that, with the exception of dusk, the ONE OTHER TIME that North American white-tailed deer are most likely to be dogding across rural roadways is approximately 7AM. No, I didn't actually hit any of the four-legged critters, but I narrowly missed hitting 6-7 of them as they sprinted across the road as I came around a blind turn. Double F**K!!!! The visit to house #2 was then uneventful, so I jumped back in my buggy and headed toward home.

Now needing a diaper change and frantic for the longed for coffee, I decided to pull into Hardees to treat myself to a sausage-egg biscuit & coffee. Mistake number four. This also seemed to be a simple act, except that I got so excited after the pimply 17-year-old working the drive thru handed me my coffee that I threw the car in gear and pulled away, only to hear him yelling, "Hey! WAIT!!!" I then had to pull over and do the walk of shame back to the restaurant for my food order. Did I mention it was also pouring down rain at the time?

So now I have rain-sodden bed-head & yesterdays remaining eye-makeup flowing from my eyes, soiled knickers from the deer attack, and not a drop of java in me yet. I got back in my car and pulled slo-w-w-w-wly out of the lot onto the roadway. The rest of the 2+ mile drive home was uneventful, so I thought I'd had my quota of "bad things come in threes" and was safe.
Mistake #five.

I slogged in the back door and slung my soggy jacket over a chair. Then, after looking at the clock and deciding to postpone eating, I hustled upstairs to get ready to shower. I had just turned on the bathroom faucet for my cat to get his ritual bathtime drink when I heard an ominous "Plop!" land nearby. I closed my eyes, took several cautious sips of my ass-flavored fast food coffee, then opened my eyes to see if I could find the source of the plopping noise. A quick glance at my bathroom ceiling informed me that I had a leak.

Flooded toilet... deer gone wild... fast-food brain fart... leaking ceiling. Which of these things does not belong? It's hard to make up my mind.

(REMINDER: Go read this post at Melonie's sight for "the REST of the story")

What Kind of Bunny Are You?

Saw this one on Jade's site: http://azjade.com/



you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by

You can't se-e-e-e-e me-e-e-e-e...

Honestly... I'm really NOT ignoring my readers (all 3 of you).

I am still being held captive by the rampant sloth of the telephony provider who cannot be motivated to bring their pathetic selves to my office to actually CONNECT my internet service. Mind you, this is the same damn company who came last... week... to connect my telephone service in the new office (only two weeks late). But because the phone service connection is one job, and the internet connecting is technically another, it has to be handled by seperate tech people. Harrumph...

So in the spirit of little children who cover their eyes in egocentric fashion and call out in sing-song, "You can't see me! You can't see me!" Because they can't see YOU, they assume that you can't see them. But I can. I can see all of you who are still out there blogging merrily along. And I can see Fibernet-- the wretched company who can't be bothered to take care of it's newest customers. A pox upon ye! Fie, I say-- begone, lazy-ass technitions! No wait.. I guess I shouldn't wish them to the ninth level of hell until after they've handled my account.

For now I'll keep stealing these hidden moments of internet access and try posting again when I'm not feeling quite so hostile.

Almost Heaven... You bet

This one appeared in the Chicago Tribune.

The majority of folks who grew up in WV can say they:

1. Are related to a miner
2. Are / were a miner
3. Know someone who is / was a miner

Coal mining might not be the #1 industry in West Virginia anymore, but no one with an ounce of State pride could have been unmoved over the recent Sago mine tragedy. Just as the fire fighters and policemen who lost their lives on September 11th were called "brothers" by their fellow public servants, so miners are viewed by others who've walked in their coal-dust covered boots. I won't throw my opinions on mine safety and code violations into the mix here-- I'll leave this post as a tribute to a dozen family men who were doing their best to provide for their families. And continued prayers for the McCloy family as their brave father / husband struggles to recover.

The Oracle of Starbucks

For those of you who love the smell of a tall mocha-choca latte in the morning
(noon and night),
I offer the following quiz

http://www.buttafly.com/starbucks/index.php

Find out what kind of coffee drinker YOU are...

(I'm a caramel macchiato gal, personally)

Some New Year's ponderings

Just thought I'd share a few thoughts of
guilt and shame as we start a new year.

• Is it possible do die as a result of smelling the stench of cat whiz for extended periods? One of my two male cats went AWOL New Year's eve (suffice to say I was lurching in the door near midnight, bathroom bound, and the little monster escaped thanks to my lack of mental / visual acuity). Been gone ever since. Guilty Me left a can of cat food on side porch last night in case he wandered home. Was greeted this morning by half-eaten can of 9-Lives and a mighty gust of cat urine. Whether mine was the guilty party or not, I'm still livid because now my only new pair of shoes and my good rain coat BOTH now reek of the smell because it must have been on the porch and I walked / brushed through it and got it on me. Puke.

• Today is supposed to be the day I move into my new office (in a different building. But...

1. Some fartknocker STILL has his boxes stored in the space (small to begin with) despite warnings to have them cleared out before today.
2. Phone line / internet STILL not connected in space (thanks to holiday delays) despite a month's advance notice that it needed to be done.
3. Painting needs to be done BEFORE I move my stuff in (but AFTER Fartknocker removes his crap). Grrrrr...
4. Am feeling very guilty at the moment (shut up Mel... I can HEAR what you're thinking right now & it's neither pretty NOR accurate ;-). The above three facts all smacked me in the face during the first 45 minutes of my workday today, at the same time that I learned that the co-worker who had inspired my recent "Parole" themed entries lost her father to a sudden heart attack yesterday. NOTE: I lost my own father over a decade ago, and am more than cognizant of her current pain and sadness (she's from a large, close, bizarre family). But am I such a bitch for thinking, "I'm very sorry for her loss (truly), but at least she will be out of my rectum while I get things straightened out." I know, I know... It's all about me...

• I finally crystallized what my 2006 personal motto should be: INITIATIVE I received criticism in recent months that I did not exhibit as much "initiative" in the workplace as my boss might have wanted to see, so my goal in both personal AND professional circles will be to exhibit initiative in 2006.