Fear not, gentle reader(s)...
Heather was
not the only person to read my last post & inquire (in one form or another), "
WTF was that post about & where did it come from???"
What you need to keep in mind when reading my blog o' joy-- whether you are a new reader or a 3+ year veteran-- is that the subject matter, tone and content of my posts can vary wildly (and widely) from day to day. Or should I say, post to post, since during the last year there have typically been month+ gaps in between the majority of my rantings. As a result, time and tide impact WHAT I am thinking about & finding blog-worthy on a given occasion. And much in the manner of onions (?), your girl has layers. Some thicker, some nearly transparent, but each one varying and exacting in what kind of post it commands that I write. Some days its nothing but humor, while on others days I'm cleaning my spleen & purging excess bitterness. Still other times I latch onto my inner Will Rogers / Dave Barry / Erma Bombeck (had to throw a woman in there for good measure) and roll with a little social commentary.
Suffice to say, yesterday I was embracing a more philosophical bent than I have been known to espouse in many a moon. And ya know what? I LIKED IT. It signaled to me that some of the very synapses that I was looking to re-stimulate when I started this blog are once again whimpering & showing signs of life. Much like the first fingers of green poke their way up from the loam each spring, it would seem that my own cerebral processes are once again crackling to life.
Why, you ask? Part of it is thanks to the company I keep.
In recent years I haven't had much of a chance to rub elbows face-to-face (talk about your mixed metaphors-- sounds like a game of Twister) with many folks who actually CHALLENGE me-- challenge my choices, my thought processes, my beliefs-- heck, who ask me why I thought a certain pair of goofy sandals were worth purchasing. But in recent times, it seems I can't step out of bed of a morning without bumping into someone who wants me to stir my brain cells and account for SOMETHING. Again I say, I LIKE IT. The self-examination post actually sprang from three different conversations I had with individuals who, as it turns out, have only entered my life in the past year.
The first was with a gentleman who is currently in the midst of his second divorce. He shared that, while he believes the largest part of THIS marriage's failure can be laid directly at the soon-to-be ex wife's feet, some reading he has been doing has helped him to appreciate the ways in which he basically contributed to (i.e. didn't take action towards addressing) the major issues that brought about the separation & ultimately launched the divorce. Very enlightened thinking & most appreciated-- in my simple experience, many men seem to have trouble 1) owning their culpability & 2) verbalizing that awareness to others. NOTE: I have known this man for a month.
The second conversation was with a married friend who has recently shared that he is learning to look in his literal AND virtual mirrors, acknowledging what he sees (for better or for worse) & working to take steps towards "getting it right" the next time. Again, showing personal growth that was impressive for the same reasons as noted above. NOTE: This man I have known for roughly 3 months.
The third conversation was with a male co-worker (who I've known for almost a year), but with whom, until recently, I hadn't discussed anything much deeper than our mutual love of pop culture, black bean burritos & Chinese buffet. On the heels of the first two discussions, I turned to T. (also twice divorced, but in a promising relationship at the moment) to get yet another male perspective on self-examination & his thoughts. NOTE: T. was a Philosophy major & loves to "go deep" on all things erudite. Neither of us could agree on whether a tendency / ability to self-examine was gender biased, faith driven, intellectually motivated, or if it was simply the nature of the beast to randomly sit oneself down with the personal microscope and perform an inventory. But it was a comment that T. made at the end of our chat that inspired the subject line of THIS post. After lengthy debate, he leaned back in his chair, chin on fist, and said, "Laura, you're much more of an onion than I realized. I knew you had brains to spare & have lots of interests, but I hadn't pictured sitting here for almost an hour discussing Examination of Conscience & moral conflict."
The brainchild of all three conversations was yesterday's post. And while I am still elbow deep in other projects & don't have the time I would love to have to either expand yesterday's post OR to keep writing here indefinitely, I wanted to at a minimum let my reader(s) know that I have not, in fact, hit a moral dilemma (that was years ago!)-- nor am I descending into Beautiful Mind mode and taping copious Post Its to my walls, watching for secret agents 'round every corner (though in this neighborhood, it was Easter the last time the S.W.A.T. team visited across the street). What it DOES signify is that some of the mental torpor & callouses seem to be sloughing off... Not all of them, sadly-- until I get the prednisone out of my system once and for all, I doubt I'll make it all the way back to sparkling wit and effortless repartee anytime soon.
For now, simply call me La Cebolla (pronounced say-bo-ya)-- the Onion. I've got layers, I might make you cry (I can't help it-- its my nature), and no recipe is complete without me (OK, maybe not tiramisu). Enough rambling-- I have to dig in and finish my InWheeling Magazine article. Note to Self: Do NOT keep listening to Vivaldi while you write the article. It was nice to get me in the symphonic state of mind, but its about to put me to SLEEP.
